This means turning your eye gaze away from the child, you yourself engaging in a different behavior, and not speaking or interacting with the child. This can be incredibly difficult, but our attention to our children is the strongest tool we have for behavior management. We want to use our attention to reinforce positive behaviors and remove our attention from negative behaviors, such as temper tantrums.
If temper tantrums start to get aggressive, either to the child, someone else or property, then we have to intervene. This may mean moving to a timeout, or discussing with your doctor or psychologist other behavior management options. Giving in to their tantrum by talking to them or giving attention to the tantrum before it ends can make things worse.
If you start actively ignoring, you have to ignore all the way to the end of the behavior. Staying calm yourself is very important during this time, as this can be embarrassing. I know — it just happened to me at the airport!
If you can, let them have the tantrum, keep an eye on them, and actively ignore the best you can. Try to manage the glances and stares from others the best you can, reminding yourself that you are doing the right thing until the behavior has ended. Then, you have to muster all of your energy and give specific praise!
The temper tantrum is a response to something that happened in the environment. If temper tantrums occur with a change in routine, or when a child is finishing play, it is important to give a five-minute transitional warning. This may help prepare them for the change and avoid a tantrum. As part of active ignoring, it is also very important to provide regular, specific, and labeled praise to a child.
Make sure they are getting two to three labeled praises for every one corrective or negative statement that is made. Parents can learn from their child by understanding the situation that caused the temper tantrum to erupt.
Temper tantrums often begin at about 1 year of age and continue until age 2 to 3. They begin to diminish as a child becomes more able to communicate his or her wants and needs. As a young child learns more and becomes more independent, he or she wants to do more than he or she can physically and emotionally manage. This is frustrating to the child and the frustrations are expressed in a variety of ways.
Temper tantrums are worse and happen more often when a child is hungry, tired, or sick. Some reasons children have temper tantrums include the following:. Although temper tantrums sometimes happen without warning, parents can often tell when a child is becoming upset.
Knowing the situations when your child is more likely to have a tantrum and thinking ahead may help. An example is not letting your child become overtired or hungry. Some suggestions for preventing or minimizing temper tantrums include the following:.
Help your child to avoid frustration. Prepare your child for changes or events by talking about them before they happen. The following are helpful hints regarding the most appropriate ways to respond during your child's temper tantrum:. Ignore the child until he or she is calmer. Keep doing whatever you were doing before the tantrum happens.
Do not give in to the tantrum. When parents give in, children learn to use inappropriate behavior to get their way. Do not bribe your child to stop the tantrum. The child then learns to act inappropriately to get a reward. Temper tantrums generally happen less often as children get older. Children should play and act normally between tantrums.
However, talk with your child's healthcare provider if any of the following happen:.
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